난 널 사랑하지만 널 보내줘야 해

Finally we cease to be we. I pulled the plug.

I wish I could rewind and do it in a better way, the way I said I would, the way we wanted it to be. And on a better day.

Now I'm here in a foreign land clutching my torn soul, eyes burning with tears, butchering myself for the torment I've put you through. Warring within me how could I be so cruel to drop the bombshell 2 days before your 40th and not realise it until you blatantly told me this was the worst birthday surprise ever.

And I'm worried how your next few days and weeks would be. I'm worried you'll drown yourself in more smokes. I'm frightened to think that I could be the cause of your deterioration. I'm worried and I pray you wouldn't.