You thought you knew,

You thought you needed to try;

Now your paper heart bleeds,

Your crying buckets.

This heartbreak was never meant for you,

It was your choice that caused you this;

I had better plans installed for you,

All you had to do was to WAIT.

I offered you the perfect love,

But you wanted more,

I promised you I'd give you more;

…just not yet, you weren't ready.

You questioned why,

You wanted a clear answer;

Your friends voice was clear enough!

Instead you wouldn't listen;

..what do they know?

You went ahead anyway.

Sigh…..you only needed to TRUST me.

Now you come back crying.

All hope seems lost, your heart is shattered,

You gave more than you received,

You are drained to your very last.

You rejected me then; I could reject you now,

But because I love you more than you could ever imagine,

I am giving you the chance to HOPE; yet again.

This morning i read about how sleep, or rather the lack of it, could affect our devotion time. For me, that slapped me right in the face! well.....i have been like an owl the past few weeks, finding it hard to keep my sleepy eyes open and heavy head up to do my work during the day, but when at night (past 12am) i am awake! Partly due to the fact I've been falling asleep so many times during the day already...lol
Then it goes on to say that researches have proven that the lack of sleep causes us to eat more than usual! Have to admit that can be true....cos i usually get very hungry if i stay up past midnight. Too bad my weighing scales is out, don't know if all those late night suppers' done wonders to my weight!!!! ...(or is ignorance bliss? hehe)
Remember the story in Acts, where Eutychus fell soundly asleep while Paul was preaching and dropped 3 floors down to his death? (later brought back to life through Paul la) and another one about Jacob who was so tired he could even use a rock for a pillow!! the Bible really has lotsa sound advice=]
When we don't have enough rest we find it hard to concentrate, or even give God His time. Or sometimes we (or me laaa) decide to spend a lil time for devotion, then i think twice and hw got the better of me. I start to feel guilty for not spending whatever little time i have to finish my asgmts. Bad choice, i know. Blame the laziness and indiscipline, now i've gotta work tripple times harder to finish all in 1 1/2 months; thus the late nights.
I know we young peeps love staying up late...cos, i dunnoe, but we all just seem to be doing that. haha. But the question is, is your staying up late/ sleepless nights causing u to spend less time with God or to not spend time with Him at all?

They actually have my name=]

not exactly but got lar.

i'm talking bout this name quiz thing.
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz

this is what i got:

What Shernai Means You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

quite true lar most of it.... but good in business and academia?.....hmh, maybe not.

Meeting up with long time friends never fails to remind me how little we know of each other. Our knowledge of each other is really so shallow, sometimes i don't even know what to talk bout anymore. I long to share with you the other side of me you probably never saw but i just don't know where to start. To tell you from the beginning its so ancient we'll never get to the top in that few hours. But to not tell you at all would seem unfair; to call you my closest friends and yet if someone asked us about us, all we know is each other's course, uni and the personality we seem to see. The reality; of course we don't really know. Isn't that what everyone else knows too?
Its such an irony, the fact that i know so many people from so, so long ago, yet i don't actually know them. Neither do they know me well enough to be the pages of my diary if i ever lose my memory.
I wish i had a friend who could be those pages, who could tell me what i was thinking even if i didn't speak a word. Someone i can tell everything and anything to, even if its about them.

Just thinking of it makes me emo, i feel the jealousy creeping in already. I know God could fill that place but just having a physical friend that fits that bill is perhaps a little more securing? Or maybe God didn't intend for some to have those sort of friends for reasons i really would like to know too. So we could learn to lean on Him even more maybe since He know's if we had one we would then depend on them instead?