Praise the Lord because my God answer's prayers!

Now I know pure JOY!
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The months of praying,
The buckets of tears.

The crushing thoughts,
Self condemnation.

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Really, I am my worst critic. Most of us are ain't it so? From the moment I answered the first question during the interview, my critic-self was telling me 'great, you're doomed! you're so not gonna pass this'. Obviously I didn't do that well during interview. I mostly couldn't answer the question, and gave little 'smart' answers that really just showed them lecturers that I'm probably one of those with a hollow head who thinks they're the best anyway. (eg. dumb blondes, or in this case just another dumb black) They asked me why I wanted to do this course? I didn't know why. All the time I've been thinking while preparing for the interview, I couldn't answer that too.

Then the months of waiting, thus my previous posts. Wait, wait and wait some more. All the 'what're you doing now?/ i thought you wanted to do this?/eh, i heard you're gonna go somewhere?'. Definitely not helping either. I know, I don't blame anyone. Just curiosity, after all its not that I see them everyday.
But waiting really is torture!...With each passing day I wake up and contemplate to pursue or to give up. Should I continue studying? Should I just get a job? What if I'm not accepted there? Would I want to do another 2 and a half long years? Should I give up? Should I pray harder?
I should pray harder.

And so I did. And cried a lot too. Ok make that I wanted much to lock myself in the room till I get the reply I wanted to hear, because tears just wanted to flood my eyes everytime i thought of it. Which is all the time, unless I was doing something else, which coincidentally, is hardly. But because I hate to be seen crying by anyone even my family members, I would swallow back those tears before it could leak out the corners of my eyes.

Alas I finally received what I've been praying for! The next chapter of my life, in Singapore=)